i’m having diarrhea again and i have nocomputer and i started to study for my finals exams and iwant to die
My aunt still says that all my colitis problems are because I have psychological problems and I obsessed over it
Oh really? Didn’t know you were a specialist.
What an awful morning. I woke up with an angst sensation. I didn’t know why till I was totally awake and I felt a terrible pain in my guts again. It was killing me! I thought “It’s gonna be okay, maybe it’s just a question of a few seconds, just keep calm” And the pain was worse, and worse, and worse. I called my mum but she didn’t hear me. Instead of her, my puppy came running to see what’s going on (oh pets, they’re the best family on earth) and I was sweating from the pain, bent in pain. Ughhhh my dog was like “what’s going on” , doing strange moves with her head. And I was almost crying and I got fucking nervous. Then I thought the pain was gone. I woke up and OMG, had to run to the toilet and had strong diarrhea and I’ve been there for an hour. My ass was on fire. I can’t understand why I’m still having diarrhea for no reason, like I stopped eating veggies. i SHOuld have called my doctor but I don’t want to bother him for any single reason and after all they can’t give me a better solution it seems. I feel so weak, and fatigued!!
Gosh. I’m exhausted. You know, I had diarrhea for the past two days and I had to make tons of stuff and it makes me feel weak. I came back to dance classes and today was the second class of the week. Guess what. In the middle of the class, I was so fucking pale and my knees were aching like hell so I had to choose between suffering for 30 min more or coming back to home. I said hell no I have to come back. I told my professor “Hey, I have a strong headache, better I leave”. You know the rest. But Ah It feels so bad having to lie all the time because explaining you have a chronicdisease in which your body destroys a part of itself,and explaining the fact that the drugs you take to control it have awful side effects, idk, IT’S STRESSING ME and I don’t want total strangers to know about my life and something so terrible for me as an incurable illness, you know. I feel kind of depressed about this, but I try to go on all the time, whatever happens. My father who is not a really good person after all, threatened me saying me he’s going to cut off my health insurance.. and he’s a fucking medical doctor and he knows how sick i am but he doesn’t care So you see, things are getting kind of harsh for me. Everything’s gonna be okay but I’m in tension all the time and It slowly hurts me more.
Sorry for not being posting too much, my laptop died and I’m looking forward to buy one asap, probably in 5 or 7 days, ormaybe sooner. I hope so.
Did you ever realize how much your body loves you? It’s always trying to keep you alive. It’s making sure you breathe while you sleep, stopping cuts from bleeding, fixing broken bones, finding ways to beat the illnesses that might get you. Your body literally loves you so much. It’s time you start loving it back.
Mine wants to destroy itself every fucking time.
*le autoimmune issue*
Today I used all my spoons in walk 20 blocks. Stupid fatigue. Anyway I can’twait for next week, bc I’m gonna come back to dance classes. No colon pain. Whoa I wonder If I’ll stay like this for a long time
Solved my problem with the hypersensitivity, I’m enjoying a chocolate snack and I don’t feel pain
What if they pet my hair and it comes out in their hand….
guys i think about that all the time!